idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
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