I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Randomize
