You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
