ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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