are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
