i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I wear drunk well.
Randomize