Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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