It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
