Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Randomize
