im having a threesome with these popsicles
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
