I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
