i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
