I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
