At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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