I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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