youre lurking in front of me
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
