New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
