New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
