My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Operation Purity has been aborted
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
It's shark week go big or go home
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
