he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
