he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I have fence marks all over my body
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
