your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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