I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize