Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
