Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize