You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
