It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
