Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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