Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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