hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
