It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
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The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
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He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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