i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
two words: eviction party
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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