if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
