The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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