I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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