Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize