Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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