Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize