I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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