Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize