if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I could fuck to npr.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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