lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
