You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
