I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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