guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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