The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
