i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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