i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
