Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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