I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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