So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
