well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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