New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i will never coherently bang her
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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