haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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