I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
