Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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