he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Randomize
