Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
