My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
