Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Randomize
